Was my dad a good father?

It sounds like your dad is trying to get rid of the guilty feelings that he probably has. And he SHOULD feel guilty, by the sounds of it. Even more than that.. I have to wonder why your mom would stay with a man who treated her so badly and what you've learned while growing up around such dysfunction. Not all men treat women that way, and NO woman deserves that! He sounds very immature and selfish to me!